Ode to Caffeine (a found poem, sorta)

One thing I know: caffeine is good.
It wakens drunks and pumps your blood
and helps increase the punch of pills
like aspirin, lessens headache ills,
and makes you solve math problems quicker,
(though when hormonal, makes you sicker),
and perks you up, and keeps you bright,
though if you want to sleep at night
will interfere, prevent your snoozing,
and alcohol works best for schmoozing.
Yes, caffeine’s sure to make you faster,
But it’s addictive; it’s your master.